Team Q1 Q2 Q3 Q4 Final Collingwood 2.6 3.7 5.8 7.13 55 St Kilda 1.3 4.7 8.12 9.15 69
How not to play footy in one simple quarter. This could have been a similar game to last week's. But, if you accept the principle that bad kicking is bad footy, we were shite. In fact, both teams were pretty bad, kicking a combined 16.28 for the match. But I'm not concerned with St Kilda.
We didn't have to wait long: 16 seconds into the game, Maynard receives in the centre, straightens - and carefully scrubs a kick to an opponent who picks it up on the half volley without breaking stride. Naturally, our player is caught wrong-footed and in the subsequent play, the ball is swept into the Saints' forward line where the only reason Weller misses a gimme is that Schade performs some heroics to deflect the kick more than a metre off the boot.
2 minutes in, Collingwood have worked the ball round the city wing, Fasolo marks Varcoe's short kick on the outside of his boot. He's about 35m out on a pretty sharp angle, but the preferred side for a right-footer. He runs around to improve the angle and snaps truly. This is one of the few good things the Pies do in the first quarter. I mention it now to make a point later. Like last week, Fasolo has kicked the first goal. It was about the last thing that was similar to the Sydney game.
17:33 on the clock: Greenwood gives away a 50m. It's not a kicking error, and the ball was in their possession in our F50, but it's just so unnecessary. The ball is soon in St Kilda's F50 and our defence must work hard to repel the forward thrust.
15:26 Darcy Moore marks 35 out, not much angle - and misses. An unequivocal shot in the foot. High school boys can kick goals from there.
14:50 Greenwood marks inside F50 near the boundary, on the wrong side for a left-footer, 45 out. It is perhaps close to where Cloke kicks many goals. It's not beyond Greenwood, but he misses to the near side.
13:57 Hoskin-Elliott marks on the wing, gets whacked in the head and earns himself 50m. But Hoskin-Elliott also has something wrong with his wrist and can't take his kick. So the ever-reliable (but from what I've seen this year, nowhere near as reliable as Hoskin-Elliott, who is in the Breust class), Pendlebury trots to where the man on the mark is 25m out, 45 degrees (but favouring Pendlebury's left foot) - and sprays it to the near side. Another unequivocal shot in the foot.
13:25 What goes in the heads of footballers? Greenwood marks 35 out and a much better angle than last time. He should take the kick, but I guess he remembers his last miss. This is simply irresponsible. When it's your turn to take a shot, take it! He quickly fires a pass to Fasolo, not really moving and positioned between two taller St Kilda players. The cliches come flooding: if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
This is the sort of panic that is communicated to the rest of the team.
12:49 It's probably inappropriate for me to second guess the players' decisions, but looping long handpasses into F50 seem to me extremely risky. Just inside the centre square, Blair receives and handpasses to Pendlebury a metre away. Pendlebury has a player on his hammer, but he has support. He could give the ball back to Blair, or over to Broomhead. Instead he handpasses (as described earlier) to Fasolo, who is tackled as he receives.
11:01 What goes in the heads of footballers? The Saints have just scored for the the first time (a behind). The ball gets to Sidebottom on the boundary just outside the 50m arc. He kicks backwards towards the goal he's defending, over Reid's head, over Howe's head - to whom? Josh Smith comes in to clean up and the Pies give up another behind. But what was the plan? The players mentioned were manned. Why would you do that? What is Collingwood's game plan? Because from where I sit it seems to be "aim to be as creatively stupid as possible".
9:22 The favourite son has returned after a horror 2016. Moore marks outside 50 and hits the ground running. He wheels around and kicks long to the far side of F50 where Elliott marks. He kicks from almost the same spot from which Pendlebury missed earlier - achieving the same result. Another unequivocal shot in the foot.
7:59 Apparently the Pies have been sharing the stupid pills. Varcoe marks 40 out, some angle. He walks back to take his kick. Blair runs to space close to goal - but he's not running straight towards the man with the ball, he's running across the ground; and there's not really much space; and Blair's not really tall. The ball is knocked away.
6:58 Adams drops a sitter on the wing.
3:44 The teams have kicked 1.8 for the quarter. A few seconds later, Montagna snaps a goal.
2.59 Hoskin-Elliott receives a Greenwood handpass as the former crosses the 50m arc. His kick from 40 is a goal. It's close to regulation, but in this comedy of errors, it's the play of the day.
Collingwood had 2.6 for the quarter; it should have been at least 5.3. That would have been a return similar to the previous week's - and, who knows? may have produced a similar result for the game. Instead, as there was nowhere near enough buffer, the Saints had the lead by half time.
In Q2 we kicked 1.1 to 2.4 so you might be pleased that our accuracy improved. But in the rest of the ground we made a litany of errors; bad decisions, players tried to do too much and were pinged for holding the ball, players ran themselves into trouble then kicked to an opponent, and so on interminably. The ball was kicked backwards repeatedly; it worked once. The rest of the time, it just looked aimless - a combination of rounds 1 and 2.
There was a lot of activity in Q3, but by the end of the quarter the Saints had kicked 4.5 to 2.1. If you were following the Saints, you'd have been disappointed with the finish, but not the endeavour. The few times that the Pies got it credibly into F50, the finish was better, but there was so little opportunity. Despite having vastly more possessions, the Saints had a higher tackle count.
Your fearless correspondent had had enough and wandered home during the final break. The replay of Q4 offered nothing to suggest that leaving had been a bad decision.
The wrap
I'm sure the Saints can play better than they did in this match; but that's not the point. On this day, all Collingwood had to do was play simple, straightforward, blue-collar footy and the game would have been theirs. As in the game, they tried to do too much and let it slip. They had plenty of opportunities, which they squandered.
If they can't do the basics right, it's going to be a long unhappy year.
Sources, Notes, Footnotes, References
http://www.footywire.com/afl/footy/ft_match_statistics?mid=9340
http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-match-centre/live-afl-collingwood-magpies-v-st-kilda-saints-20170416-gvlryv.html
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