Notes from the game: 2016 Round 1 Sydney

Train wreck: Collingwood starts the year at the bottom of the ladder.

Team            Q1      Q2      Q3      Q4      Final 
Sydney          3.9     10.12   14.21   18.25   133
Collingwood     1.1     1.4     5.6     7.11    53  

Well, surprise, surprise. No we don't. Fremantle has contrived to lose (to the Bulldogs) by a bigger percentage than even Collingwood!

Oh, well. We can't complain about the football - on Collingwood's part, there was none to be seen.

It was not meant to be thus. This was supposed to be the year that Collingwood supporters could bask in the glow of schadenfreude; embrace the prospect of a year during which Essendon and Carlton compete for the wooden spoon.

The Footy Bogan has a rating system for movies (one star, two stars, up to 5). Down the bottom is the notion of a movie that is so dreadful he leaves (or wants to leave) before the end. Sometimes, he is reluctant to leave because the topology of the theatre, the number of patrons and the location of his seat conspire to produce a scenario that would result in disturbance of others were he to head for the exit. Of course, in the comfort of his own TV room, he merely has to glance at his companion to negotiate whether they will persevere a little longer or give up immediately. Often, they have abandoned a film in under 30 minutes.

A similar logic applies to footy. But the Bogan rarely abandons a Collingwood game. However, on Saturday evening, he gave up well before half time.

Further, even when he has abandoned the odd game in the past, he will later return to watch the replay to sift forensically through the wreckage like the ghoulishly named Accident Appreciation Squad. But some catastrophes are too extreme to contain lessons. That way madness lies. Better to simply pretend it never happened; cast it on the scrapheap of history; hope that its memory fades quickly - that the damage has not metastasised irredeemably to the core. [shudder]

The wrap

You might have seen this before:

A new year, the pain and heartache of previous seasons forgotten; as the next footy season begins, we look forward with misplaced optimism and false hope. Such is the lot of the Collingwood tragic.

Strap yourself in: if things don't improve, it could be a very long and dreary year.

Sources, Notes, Footnotes, References

http://www.footywire.com/afl/footy/ft_match_statistics?mid=6176